Kintsugi (金継ぎ, ”golden joinery”), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, ”golden repair”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered goldsilver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.”(Wikipedia)


For years I sang with a pathological injury on my vocal folds. However, it was treated as psychosomatic or, worse, imagined – 

It’s in your head, you’re thinking too much. Just relax!

In my case it resulted in extremely tense muscles that only worsened the damage, and the spiral went down, down, down…   Until – surgery and a long (very long) recovery. 

It’s hard to lose your singing voice, not knowing if it will come back as you know it, especially when it’s your working tool and source of income, as well as your soul, your love, your passion your life.

How does one deal with that? I don’t know. 

I dealt with it with rage, anger, grief, devastation, desperation, mourning, more rage, more anger,  and more grief.  For a long (very long!) time. And then, slowly, new doors, new perspectives, new knowledge. Hope!

I share this because I’m in a position where I can. I share it because everyone needs agency over their own voices! We need to be listened to, to be heard. Listen!  You, as well as me. 

My voice broke. It’s part of my story. Now it’s mended. With gold!

I have agency. And I won’t be quiet.


To learn more about this journey, go to the Instagram account Singing without my voice or go back to main page and read the posts there (updating the posts daily).