Singing inside my voice - the movie!

I’ve been trying to talk about this for years. For many years.
I wanted a happy ending. But it never came. Instead, things got worse. And then even worse.
And now? Now that I have my happy ending and a new beginning?
Now I’ve talked about it so much that the words feel worn out. Now I just want to sing. Because I can.

But I also want to say something. Because this isn’t just about me.
There are many of us — musicians, singers, performing artists — who get injured. Who burn out. Who go silent.

And we don’t talk about it. Not really. We whisper. We disappear. We hope no one notices.

I wanted to show what part of that journey can look like. That it is possible to get through something. That it is possible to find a way forward.

Not back, maybe. But forward. Into something else.

So – I made a film. Not a “real film”. Just… a film.
It’s 15 minutes long (yes, a bit longer than a TikTok clip). A personal mini-documentary about the final part of my long journey. About my second surgery, and the path back from there.

I made it for a pedagogy course. But those who saw it felt it was worth sharing more widely.
I’ve added subtitles. I’ve translated the text. And now it’s here.

I’m definitely not a filmmaker. But I loved making it.
It’s just another way to use my voice.

And I hope it resonates.
Feel free to reach out if it does.

If you’ve never had any issues yourself, but if you have a colleague who’s struggling—please, don’t say things like:

”you’re imagining it.”

”Just don’t think about it”
“You’re just overthinking.”
“I think it sounds fine!”

Because it doesn’t help. It makes us feel unheard. And it may contribute to push us harder than we should. Because, if it’s only in our heads…?

And, please, don’t blame them for a performance that didn’t go very well. They already know. They already take the blame. We’re in this together.

I’m not saying it’s your fault! I’m not saying it’s your responsibility. NO! This is bigger than that (after all, even medical doctors didn’t figure it out with me). I’m saying…be kind.

What helps? Just be there. Tell them they’re great musicians, and that you love making music with them!
Chocolate always helps.

If you’re a medical person who works with a musician who doesn’t get better, don’t assume it’s not because they are not doing everything they can. If you cannot figure out what’s your clients problem – refer them to someone else!!! Even if this someone lives and works in another country.

With injuries it’s like this: no matter what you do to prevent them, they can still happen. You can still get overworked. It can still happen to all of us.

This is a brutal business. Let’s be better at taking care of ourselves and each other.

Let’s be more curious. Let’s be kinder. To ourselves and to each other.

Sources:

Thanks:

Tina Margareta Nilssen (Timani)

Jenevora Williams